BLUE-CHERRY-AID

Picture the scene london christmas 1998....it resembled a dickens novel...kids begging on the streets....prostitutes on every corner...very quaint.....the squat we were inhabiting was freezing....had to share it with gary newman and his groupies...we sat round the candle and when it got really cold we lit it..times were hard...we couldnt afford kentucky fried chicken had to make do with with the economy version...ken tuckas deep fried chickens lips..motorhead was number one in the charts with a cover of slades ditty ...so here it is merry fucking christmas...neil was busking in the underground with steve jones...he was still in legal battle with mr J rotten..i was working for an agency rent-a-groupie...it was ok but not much doing that time of year...barely paid for the spandex...anyhow neil came rushing in....guess what...i bumped in to sting today he gave us 10p...that was nice of him i said.....i went to school with him ,we were in the same group the ADHD section everybody was saying how special we were..ok but listen he wants me to join him and bob geldof...they are doing a benefit gig on newyears eve in trafalger square its going to be shown live on worldwide tv to raise money to save a little know rare tree in thailand their calling it bluecherry-aid.....all the big names are taking part...stones.(same old)..who(reformed)...bowie(minus ziggy)...u2(mega now)...bb king(still cool)...chris rea(.......) banana rama...(eh!???)....wow! thats great ...but its a charity event ...means you wont get paid...oh shit never thought of that damn that sting has stung me again..but it is good exposure...yeah right minus 20.... The day of the event arrives there was alot of tension back stage...pete townsend was viciously waving his tigerseye plectrum at neil....neil was viciously waving me by the scruff of the neck at pete...bowie was sitting on the trailer steps looking serene even though he had pink fluffy mules on, a towel on his head and smoking a fag...keith richards was busy getting skates fitted to his feet so they could wheel him on...i got the job of parking the stone's wheelchairs....bless...banana whatever were in a tizzy becouse one of them lost an eyelash in a puddle....so they missed their set...you would think that it had been done on purpose to sabatage their act...(looks down all guilty )...chris was caught self harming and had to be taken to hospital...bb was drinking far to much JD....he passed out mid song.....and U2 were fab they did all thier hits and dedicated the last song ONE to dale of blogdum.....and there was a touching moment at the end when bono said ...neil emery....we know you highjacked our song you wanker!....sting and bob were fighting in the carpark over who should be knighted for this underwhelming occasion....they managed to raise the grand sum of £256 and £1o pound of that was bob and stings own contribution....neil did well out of it all though he bumped in to lemmy and the boys and they invited him to support them on their .....pisshead tour....good job i had the spandex....