BOMBSHELL!!

As you know no auto-boiraphy would be complete without a bombshell....boi do i have a bombshell.....read on...mid 90's (yes it was a busy time)....neil was hot off the heels of his high school for the deaf tour...never got much feedback from that...strange....anyway...out of the blue he received a text on his oversized mobile brick....from slash..neil get your ass to wembly tomorrow we need you...dont worry about axl he's forgiven you...oh wow! they want me to support them said neil jumping up and down on the bed....so we hot foot it to wembly the next day for the kick off g&r tour....neil arrived suitably kitted out in ripped jeans cowboy boots with the obligatory snazzy scarf tied round...slash comes towards neil with his arm outstreched handing him his guitar.....fuck! he wants neil to play his guitar!!!!!....right neil change the strings and tune it up for me said slash to a very deflated neil....so am i to do my set before you slash...god no neil sorry if i mislead you i just wanted you to sort my guitar for me....oh right.......then axl came swaggering over ...drunk as usual....gave neil a begrudged hello.....apparently some years before when guns and roses were doing a gig at the tattooed arms pub in manchester neil had run off with axls groupie.... was still resentment there...neil was busy seeing to slash's guitar, so i wondered off only to be hounded by axl...he wanted to shag me to even the score....no never! i protested im loyal to neil....ok 20 rothmans and a bottle of the finest white lightning he said .....well how could i refuse.....so we did the deed in the port-a-loo.....very romantic....and that was it i went back to neil and said nothing....then the worst thing happened i was pregnant...but who was the daddy...neil or axl...neil wouldnt have it ...told me he could never have kids as he always wore tight y fronts...so he banished me back to the north....i made headline news in the local rag...stoners weekly...no not a mag on where to buy the best lebanese gold....it was where to buy the best stones for throwing at wrong doers every third tuesday we had a public stoning...the headline read...PREGNANT AND UNMARRIED!!!!....big crime here i was locked in the attick of my parents till the birth....8 month later i gave birth to a strawberry blonde boy i searched my heart and soul as to weather to keep him or not then 3 minutes later he was on e-bay...3 days later a bid was put in and accepted it was the sylvia young stage school..they could see cheesyness in the baby even at that age...well he grew up to be none other than chesney from corination street...was he mine and neils love child or axls???...