ENLIGHTENED ONE

Iwoke up this morning ..just another normal day....5 gallons of tea..20 fags....then i got up...did some housework...fed the cats...took my little dog for a walk....well actually he's old and blind so he gets carried...then i lay on my bed for 5 hours contemplating the meaning of life the universe and everything....as i lay there pulling inquisitive faces...it happened...i was enlightend...i found the answer...your not going to believe it when i tell you..its so simple...i kicked myslef when i realized...what it is right its.....oh hang on someone at the door..its the jesus christ of latter day saints mob (jehovah's witness types in disguise)...got rid of them told them i worshipped dionysian that always does the trick...where was i oh yes i was about to tell you the meaning of life the universe and everything....what it is right...he he you'll die when i tell you...oh hang on phone....christ it was the bloody samaritans asking why i havent rang this week...honestly they need to get a life....now what im about to share with you will blow your socks off .....oh god no .....one of next doors kids has come flying over the hedge off his trampoline...hang on ill just go and throw him back......forgot what i was saying now.....think..think...oh yes the meaning of life the universe and everything.....tell you what ...you send me a cheque for the bargin price of £1000 made payable to my ever increasing swiss bank account...(no refunds) and ill tell you...