PAST LIFE REGRET-TION

Thought id visit my hypnotherapist tarquin the other day...fancied getting regressed to see if i was a decent woman in a past life...so im lying on the couch all relaxed as he takes me under.....take a deep breath...in......and out....in...and out.....innn.....(his phone goes...its rodger his boyfriend ,having a breakdown cos his cravat doesnt match his shoes)....meanwhile im going blue......out gpysy out!...tarquin screams....oh ill have to go rodger ...gypsys here asking the impossible as per...ok where were we oh yes ...breath in ...and out...ahhhhh...your walking along a deserted beach...the sand is warm under your feet...you see a cave ..you go in...there are some steps taking you down to your past....each step you take down you feel more and more relaxed....mmmm...yes this is good ..i feel so light...im floating down the steps....more and more ...r-e-l-a-x-e-d....ok gypsy what year is it......1943... where are you...im in germany in an office with the handsome SS officer, Lt. Helmut Schultz...im a french spy...im bending down dressed in a short pencil skirt and tight white blouse ...to pick up some documents....helmut is behind me rubbing his.......Wake up gypsy!.....er thats not actually a flash back is it....more like one of your favourate scenarios....oh yes sorry......ok walking back down the steps....what year is it...1900...what are you doing....im touting for business outside the ye old oak inn ....im leaning in a carridge talking to a gentleman ...a farthing!...what for all night group sex no way.....actually tarquin can i go further back.....ok your stepping further down...deeper....what year is it now gypsy...1821.....where are you.....im in prison for soliciting outside the kings castle ive been hanging out at the draw bridge where the gaurds are ...actually can we go even more back ......ok gypsy your in the cave..yes i know stepping further down the bloody steps.....what year is it now....1645....what are you doing....im been tied up.....women and men are throwing stones at me....oh hang on their lighting a fire....oh crikey!...they're shouting WITCH...WITCH...BURN HER.....quick tarquin send me further back as far back as i can go....ok gypsy this time you walk down to the very bottom of those steps......now then ...what year is it......numbers havent been invented yet so i dont know....but theres a man with a beard....im been dragged before him by these nasty men saying im impure a fallen woman.....but the bearded mans been nice to me....this makes me cry and i wash his feet with my tears......hang on a minute...tarquin...im coming back up the steps......this is terrible even in my past lives i was a wanton hussey...yep seems so gypsy thatl be £200...piss off tarquin......you can have a mistress session where your a lil slut boi.... for one hour ill even let you wear my pvc catsuit....and thats your wack.....