PLASTIQUE FANTASTIQUE
As you can see left and right a before and after pic of cher....what happened was she rang in a panic wanting a quick nip and tuck to her face...i said to her ..."but cher you silly bint your face is already so tight it could be scottish"...but she wouldnt listen....she had heard on the winevine about my local plastique surgeon/stone mason raoul, he does plastique surgery on the side when he isn't carving epitaphs on gravestones...he has already done my gravestone its lovely its simply says".....THANK FUCK ITS OVER!"....so i fixed her up with an appointment with raoul ...well the thing is me and raoul had been on a slot machine binge the night before ..we drank all the raw ether from his surgery ... a pint each i think it was.....it was a sort of FEAR AND LOATHING IN GALA BINGO....we could hardly walk...let alone string words together but we could say ..HOUSE!...we had a fabulous time.....anyhew the next day i helped raoul anaesthetize cher ....because we had drank all the ether the night before we used 2 bottles of gin and a cushion over her face....when she stopped kicking and writheing about he got started...luckily he had some left over cellulite from sharon osbournes thighs .....so he bunged some of that in her eye bags.....he tried to chisel her cheek bones but they just disintegrated! ...when she came round her face looked like it had been hit with a tent mallot....heh!... it had!....only way to flatten her nose...i showed her how she looked with a trick mirror ...it had a pic of her before (above left) 80 years younger on it ...so she was none the wiser....she went back to america quite happy thinking she looked good.......at the airport she was issued with an.. *ASBO* ..(anti-social behaviour order)...for looking so damn ruff...strange she hasn't been seen since.....at least it stopped her making those dreadful records....ha!...
posted by gypsy noir at 5/20/2006
10 Comments:
WELL WELL WELL IF IT ISNT LITTLE GYPSY. Behold the arrival of the evil illigitimate bitch daughter she left in the frozen communist wasteland of Moscow, tis I, Chontz Herr Goebells Strelnikov!!!
Or I could just say....Hiya Mam :)
OMG you little tyke you..so this is what you have been doing all these years..you have come back to haunt me!...hello darlin nice to see you here..x...
What a sweet display of daughterly affection!! Don't worry Gypsy, we're here to back you up! Or....is it a case of like Mother like Daughter huh? She's certainly got the gift of the gab, so I could ask where that comes from :-)
Still got to read your post with the attention it derserves, so I'll be back..... x
lol yes she shares the same cutting wit as myslef...so it is a case of like mother like daughter...but i love her anyway..i seen your daughters page..she is lovely, a tribute to you...ill have to get chantal to hook up with her and dales daughter ...
Hi Gypsy
I quite like Cher, but I cannot imaging cutting myself up & moving parts around for vanity's sake!
Your imagination hits the nail on the head once more!
We watched Pink Floyd, The Wall - for the first time, believe it or not. We've had the movie for years & I never got round to seeing it.
Bob Geldof is quite the yummy man, even without eyebrows...
The party went well, even in the wind & rain. There were several little boys frolicking about with wet hair & smiles plastered to their faces!
Yes, my altered ego certainly helped me through - for those about to rock...
Oh chuckle!!!! one of those cases of i wish i'd written that! But of course it's true isn't it :-)) she always did look as if she's been eating vinegar with a knife - and this time the knife slipped lol.
Love it!
Yes, Gypsy, put your daughter onto mine...think it'd be a good mix. I've already sent her link to Beth but maybe a trio would be more fun he he.
Have a good day today this Sunday, and I mean good!
love Val
PS thanks for the nice things about my daughter! She's a real live wire and a bundle of laughs, so her site is so much fun.
god I hate this profile photo now - it keeeps leering at me. Thought it was quite subtle and cool when I put it up but now I see it's just NOT me! Must change it.....
pps. by the way I'm talking about your piece on Cher in my first comment. Gulp, thought you might think I was talking about our dear Dale!.......just wanted to make that clear...x
...oh dale the wall for the first time its a superb film.. val...lol i know you didnt mean our wonderful dale...and i like that photo of you val...so dont even think of booking an appointment with raoul trust me girl you dont need it!..
Thanks, Gypsy!! Actually, I did try to change my pic, but couldn't for some reason, so have just deleted it for now. Had quite enough of that last one myself!
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