BLOODY MORONS!!...ala....LDS....

AS you can see from the pic ive had one hell of a night..last night about 8.30pm...i was waiting for my my favourite indian take-away to be delivered for my usual weekend treat..when i hears a knock at the door...oh great i thought the grub has arrived...but it wasn't my smiley faced delivery boy....indeed not!, there they were four tall dark figures looming .....before they even spoke i said .."dont even bother with your preaching to me ....i pray to the alter of derelicté chic of the ferrien sect"......they just said nothing picked me up, carried me and threw me into the back of their van!...i landed on a pile of leaflets and begged them to let me go as id miss my take-away been deliverd.....the van stopped and they all got out.....one came to get me out the back.... as he took my hand to pull me out he looked straight at me with His fiercely fine looks and evil hypnotic Mormon powers...i tried not to succome..i had to fight it...i chanted to myself in my mind..."derelicté is the only power"....i struggled as they removed my clothing....they forced me to wear a floral print below the knee dress with a high frilly collar buttoned right to the top.....and a pair of ORTHOPAEDIC shoes...(for all the walking round the streets i suppose)...they cut my hair and put it in some rollers to make it (CURLEY!)...they sprayed it with cheap hairspray it was all brittle and it stank of roses..the rotten swines i looked like something from a 1960's homes and garden magazine...but he was using his mesmeric powers to ensnare me into his evil Mormon web of passion, polygamy and pamphlets!...would i be strong enough to resist his wicked-sexy Mormon wiles?... Or would i be forever... Trapped by the Mormons... ...suddenly he leaned over to kiss me...was this the Kiss of a Saint?... Will he force me to marry him and take me away to where the Great Salt Lake meets the Crystal Temple... Or, will there, indeed, be something darker waiting for me. . . slavery . . . sex orgies . . . Death!!... to be honest with you i could deal with all that infact it sounded quite appealing...but the floral dresses..sensible shoes and the hair-do stinking of roses was more than i could bare...so i kneed him in the goolies and made my escape...praying no one would see me in this god forsaken attire i flagged down a taxi....the driver asked me if i'd been to a DORIS DAY! convention...gets home darts out the taxi quick before the neighbours see me...and there on the step was my take-away with a little note saying ...[heres your indian meal brian ferrien paid us for it, enjoy...love the smiley delivery boy x ]......i sat there looking like a DEBORAH KERR throw back wolfing down my meal and smoking 40 fags in between.... pondering on the event that had just befell me....next time the mormons knock on your door...DONT ANSWER!.......