LORKS A LORDY...
ok as you can see from the pic above im blogging from and internet café in victorian england i think the year is ...hang on ill ask.."scuse me young chap fellow me lad what year is this?"....ooh dear its november the 14th 1887...there was a riot yesterday...tens of thousands of people, many of them socialists or unemployed, gathered in trafalgar square to demonstrate against the government..... This event was referred to as Bloody Sunday....looks like i have arrived at a troubled time...bet your wondering how i got here well it all started out when i rang tarquin this morning...i wanted him to regress me to last weeks shopping list...i cant find my extra large bag of tooty fruitys anywhere...so im laying on his couch...and he takes me back to last wednessdays shopping list......... a pint of milk _ hard butter _1/2lb semtex _bread _extra strong bondage tape _5 litres cheap wine_ extra large bag of tooty fruitys_ 50 tins cat food_ 600 ciggies_3 self rising yorkshire puddings_ an ak47_one very small potatoe....... we were just about done when tarquins phone went .. it was his gay lover roger...they were arguing about fabric softner.. roger hates it, it makes him itch...he accoused tarquin of doing it on purpose when he was washing his lucky lilac lurex boxer shorts (try saying that after 5 litres of cheap wine)....so im still falling in to regression way past the shopping list and thats how i landed here in victrian england 1887 ...im sitting here freezing cold people are stareing at me cause i have my "frankie says " tee shirt on they're all asking who he is..lucky i had my jeans on.. mind you i bent down to scratch my ankle and a woman fainted ... the police were called in and i was cautioned for indecent exposure... blimey good job it wasn't last friday..when i was in my 5in stillettos..micro mini and swing back fur coat...i'd have either made a fortune prostituting or been hung for sure... quite like it here... i had £2 in my pocket.. so im quite rich i can live it up here for a bit on this... i have to keep winding ye olde computer up to make it work ..cranking it up with this big handle...lol...think i'll have some food..erm goose burgers..and a glass of the finest mead known to humanity then im off to see an up and coming german composer Richard Strauss at one of the local taverns ...i'll book a horse and cart for 7pm hmm what to wear?.... i'll need some help squeezing in to my boned corset .... ooh i hope i dont bump in to that killer known as Jack the Ripper ..oh dale i asked around and no one has heard of angus young or indeed pete townshend...but the name mick jagger does ring a bell...
posted by gypsy noir at 6/20/2006
94 Comments:
Well Gypsy, I hooted & howled till I choked!
What is Semtex?
Please send me 3 cases of self-rising Yorkshire pudding...COD of course.
Was Tarquin's lover's socks a pretty baby blue, by any chance?
Plumber butt rules...ha ha ha...but I wouldn't think it would go down well in Victorian England...
I'm sure Keith Richard's name would more than ring a bell to them...
Angus is far too Young & Pete was always ahead of his time...
THANKSIREALLYNEEDEDTHAT!
he he dale semtex is a plastic explosive...the puds are on the way fed ex..yes roger does like his baby blue sock but his sparkle too...oh yes keith is very well known they said he was busking in the market...
Please send me 3 cases of Semtex...COD of course.
Am still chuckling..OMG..this is classic!!
What's this tho, Gyppo, a shopping list for the kitchen of the Irksome Romany's Army?
Did the poor woman recover from the sight of you scratching your flea bites? Love the idea of crank up laptops...does it have an ear piece and micropohone too...you could start a whole new internet cafe theme for regressive or time warped bloggers...;-))!
By the way, Dale, Pet wasn't just a head, he was THE head of his time..lol
By the way, Gypsy, did you hear about the the Americans who went to an art gallery up north and saw a painting showing three black men sitting naked on a bench, but the middle one had a pink willy.
They asked the curator of the gallery to explain the painting to them and he told them how it represented the intermingling of races and the condition of the human spirit today and the usual twaddle like this. Nodding seriously the Americans accepted his explanation, but a moment after the curator had gone, this Scotsman came up to them and told them that the curators explanation was a load of pretentious piffle.
"How can you say that?' asked one of the Americans. "Well, 's easy", said the Scotsman"I should know cos I painted it!"
"you did? So what does it mean then?' asked the Americanos
"It's simple" said the Scot" It's just a picture of three coal miners, and the one in the middle went home for lunch.."
dale the semtex is winging its way to you via carrier pigeon...val...lol...yes i have my own secret sector of the gypsy front here..we are outcast you know and we plan to change this..some one came to the womans aid with smelling salts she said it was the shock of such depraved moralitys see my ankle really knocked her for six...i have a complex about them now...no ear peice or microphone when i asked they looked at me as if i was some sort of devil worshipping witch...lol..lol...at your joke really funny...
lol...dale..fed seed ex carrier pigeons..
OK
We need to tell jokes, here is another one about the mines.
It works best in Dutch, but with a bit of grammar bending it works in Eglish too.
Two nuns on the train to the mining area.
When they approach the black country the nun closest to the partly open window does sniff-sniff sounds and says: mine?
Says the other nun: I thought it was mine!
lol...lol....iget it koos..lol...
KOOS!
a drunk is staggering down the street with one foot on the kerb and the other in the gutter.A policeman stops him and says "your drunk" To which the man replies: "thankgod for that i thought i was crippled"....
DALE!
I see Pete's comedian blog has migrated north. :)
-AM
yes anne marie its your turn now...
Gypsy, if you haven't seen it, go to Dale's blog now. She needs us all.
xx
Gypsy, thank God I heard from her.
She is safe, but not home...
Thank You
xxx
Dale
Thanks god she's safe, Gypsy.. I know what you mean about being helpless...totally powerless to do anything..but at least Dale knows where she is now.
She can stop worrying about the worst that could have happened. Now, the why's will come, and that might also be a tough call...but most important..she's safe. Worth celebrating just for the relief.
yes val safety is paramount...the rest will be delt with in good time..
Sleep tight and rest well, dear Gypsy. Let's hope Dale can do that tonight too...bet she did't sleep a wink last night!
Val xxx
i can only imagine what she went through...goodnight dear val..xx.
Night Night to you both, Gypsy & Val.
You are so sweet!
I will sleep better tonight, but no further word yet.
I toss between anger, fear, grief & helplessness.
There is a power at work here that I have no control over - my daughter is growing up & spreading her wings...
She is strong.
...and so am I.
Thanks from the bottom of my fragile heart.
♥♥♥ Dale
dale dont worry it will all turn out well in the end..trust me...sleep well and better days ahead..xx...
...a clash of titan wills, I might add.
xxxxxxxx's to Gypsy
Will be away for a week, but back on tues just to fetch Sin (she hates boat travel).
will 'visit' then to catch up.
Love, hugs and more xxxx's
Val
Hi Gypsy
Beth is still not home, but I suspect she is having a "right knees up" - school is out for the summer...
This morning we have a meeting with the school board about my son who has been having trouble with his school work.
Does it never end?
I'm hanging in there :)
Love
Dale
no dale it never ends but you will get through it one step at a time..it will all come right one day ...
wonderful news dale im so pleased for you...and beth..it will be fine dont worry..xx...
We will...
Thanks
xxx
OMG, Gypsy!
I have been so selfish.
With all this going on I have not given a thought to you being stuck in a Victorian pub/cafe with crank-up internet!
How ARE you doing?
Have you run into our favourite busker?
Are you sure they're just only slightly familiar with Mick?
...oh, come on - they must be ribbing you.
Did you ever manage to find a pair of trousers with a Victorian waist?
dale it hell here...no central heating...no tak-aways apart from the pie and maggot shop..my arms aching from all the cranking..saw keef down the market he was busking his new song little red rooster..mick was dancing about getting strange looks..they dont do womens trousers they are so taboo i darn't even mention it!...people look at me as if im some sort of alien??....i wish tarquin would hurry up and bring me back..he's to busy sucking up to roger!...
I knew if you checked about you'd find Mick dancing in the streets...
Any sign of Bowie?
the circus put bowie in a freak show they call him part woman part alien...he makes a fortune..
Wow, they have aliens back then?
Do they have Empire waist trousers?
dal your obsessed with trouser waists..what is this?..some strange fetish of yours...
It's the image of you bending down to scratch your ankle & the anal...er...Victorian woman fainting.
It just sticks in my mind!
aha she did get quite a shock it made the headlines on the next days papers ye olde times..the headline read...WOMAN FAINTS AT EXPOSING OF ANKLE SHOCK!....
Oh, I was thinking more along the lines of low cut hip-hugger jeans...
Ha Ha Joke's on me!
That's where the plumber butt joke fits in...
I guess in Victorian England it could work both ways!
Hee Hee
dale ive been offered to do page three by the rival paper ye olde sun...to shom my ankles their gonna pay me thrupence ..i shit you not!..
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
...what's that in Canadian funds?
re verification: I am becoming so dyslexic...can't tell the difference between q g p...
about half a flee...lol..
shom my ankles..whats this some olde england dialect long forgotten and buried in the recess of some victorian scribe....of course i meant SHOW my ankle...
ha ha shomme the farthing...
yep its 5 to 5 in the morning cant sleep..<:0(..its a beuatiful dawn though...
the sun is rising above the slag heaps...the birds are coughing the phlegm from their little lungs...you can see the chimneys all smoking in unison...idilic a scene ive never had the pleasure to vidying my eyes on...bliss...
oh what a beautiful morning ..oh what a beautiful day..i got a wonderous feeling everythings going to be shit again today......note to self: sleep depravation is good for the soul...
my eyes are hanging in tatters..think ill bathe them in some sulphuric acid ..sharpen them up again...
Nice picture you've painted there...
It's 10:40 pm & I just got back from picking Beth up from work at the grocery store in town :)
I was watching the movie "Nanny McPhee" with George & Jenny.
Bobby's out sailing in the no wind with the neighbours...
It's a beautiful evening here & still light out. We are quite far north & I west in our time zone, so at this time of year the sky in the north stays light (shook me)all night long...
Things are well here.
I'd trade the sulphuric acid with Visine, if I were you...
Sweet dreams & look forward to a no shit day.
*LOL* You lot have me in stitches with your posting, Gypsy, and all the jokes!!
I hope Victorian England is treating you well, Gypsy, despite the lack of air conditioning, which would drive me mad..... perhaps with your 2 pounds, you should stock up on valuables and bring them back to our time to sell on Ebay? You could be rich forever, selling precious antiques, jewellery, and the like....instead of 5 litres of cheap wine, you could buy the second-to-cheapest wine...and I bet Alfie wouldn't mind a sampling of what Victorian mice tasted like!
its grey here now ..much different to the sunshine at dawn...is there a pic of angus still???..ooh get yourself to the beach girl nice relaxing sunbathe...my ankles are splashed all over page three today im quite the celebrity but there is a lynch mob waiting for me outside...its Emmeline Pankhurst and her cronys they are members of the British suffragette movement.... mary beth what a brilliant idea ..ill bring you a victorian hat back...god yeah i could make a bomb on E-bay...do you think the mice will survive time travel vortex and all that??..
dale just a thought did they have pumbing in victorian england..
Plumbing...hmmm
I think the Romans had the beginnings of plumbing...aquaducts?
I would definitely have been a suffragette - god help us all!
lol...me too..cuffed to the railings..but not throwing my self under a horse..oh do you think they had pumbers bum crack showing under the togas...hmmm..
...a cracked aqueduct?
aquaduct butt...
OOOOh yes, I like your new avatar.
Very derelicte chic!
I like what you've done with your hair...is that a burgundy tint I detect?
Now you make me want to change my Angus...but I quite like being wrapped in plastic.
To come to think of it, I had a dream about that very same blue plastic last night...LOL...I shit you not!
Very warped, indeed...
I like your derelict chic outfit to match, too!
daley pale..my hair was very dark brown then i bleached some streaks in..then i put som red dye on..then i bleached some more bits now it all colours of the derelcté rainbow sort of black.orange...red...puple...ish ish..lol..dreams of pastic ay..bad girl dirty girl in your bed!...
Our mortgage finance guy's name is Billy Rainbow...I shit you not!
LOL
wow what a fab name and apt...my hair becouse of so much bleaching and dying over the years has ended up all different shades..in certain light..not in your face bright colours just a subtle hint...im surprized it hasn't fallen out!..
your hair is perfect for colouring dale...good news on the morgage front chuffed to bits for ya!..
Oh, a Victoria hat - yes, please!! I'm not sure about the mouse and the vortex...though if the mouse is just for eating, I supposed alive or dead doens't make a difference to Alfie....though I'm sure Alfie would appreciate a little chase of the mouse before he catches it...you know, to see what tricks the mice had up their sleeves for escaping a cat in Victorian times...
mary beth..i think the mice here are fitter than 2006..more to feed on..but there is no tinned cat food so the cats do have to survive on their instincs..alfie wouldn't last 2 minutes here...he likes his kitty treats...dont know about sammy..athough they could feed on fatter mice..hmmm
thats a good idea dale blow them to smitherenes..mmmmwoooha...ha...
Gypsy, I just did a bit of research on Bloody Sunday - no not the Boomtown Rats version via Bobby Geldof...
I had no idea there were that many cops running about London in those days!
There must be hundreds of thousands by now...
...now I'm glad I live in the innocuous Rocky Mountains of western Canada.
BTW did you know that AC/DC recorded their album "The Razor's Edge" in Vancouver?
...a mere 8 hour drive through the mountains from here.
BTW that is not a long drive by Canadian standards...
dale u2 did bloody sunday...geldof did i dont like mondays..lol...its sounds much more peaceful where you are...not when ac/dc are recording though...
Ooops!
Sunday...
Monday...
Bono...
Bob...
Crap! I got my days - and bands - mixed up.
See my real Dale page...
That might explain it.
:0
gypsy.. this i must know.. when you *landed* in trafalgar.. did you see bono???
(This post is bloody HILARIOUS!)
~Lace~
i might have seen him lace but he was called corsett bono...i think!!
ahhh corsette bono.. of course.. how about jack the ripper.. tell me you didnt run into HIM!
lol...not yet but i have been hanging out in the seedy areas..and what with my ankle exposé...i could be mistaken for a prostitute..
gypsy.. what in the heck are you doing in the seedy areas.. its 1887.. youve got 2 pounds in your pocket.. you could practically BUY windsor palace!
~Lace~
Ha Ha !
...Wales bono corsette...took me long enough.
I always thought he was Irish?
...and didn't like Mondays.
I'll never let myself forget that one!
Lace you need to know this...
Gypsy designed the seedy areas!
She actually was sent back as a land speculator...
How do you real Gemini ever do it?
Coming from an Aries Aquarius point of view...
Wow Dale, a seedy land speculator. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand Gypsy saying she was seedING barren lands er sumethin? I mean, she went back with a 2 whole pounds fer cryin out loud. She could've feed the whole red light district.
You are correct about Bono tho, like me, he is Irish. No one Irish likes Mondays (they follow the weekend).
~Lace~
dale ..a/dale...lace..your right...i shouldn't be in the seedy areas with such wealth in my pocket..dont forget my thrupence fee for the newspaper artical...but since my page 3 ankle shock spread ive become somewhat of an outcast with the gentry..but fear not because we do have royalty and dignitarys hanging out here in the slums...rumour has it that jack the ripper could be a prince..personally i think jack the rip off doesn't exsist its just a vicious lie to attract tourisits...dale ill say this nice and clear...bob=monday...bono=sunday....
Bob Geldof is Irish, too...
...just to confuse me more.
It's Monday here.
It was Sunday yesterday.
I think the thrashing set me straight - thank god for those fortified kevlar gloves...
you cheated the thrashing you...yes bob and bono are both oirish....their just slaves here...
they would sell their soul for just one tetty...(potatoe)...
you may...but i think she might enjoy it somewhat...in a kinky kinda way...
gypsy.. hmm.. i see what you mean.. the gentry would revolt if an ankle showing tart bought Windsor.. and youre too rich to properly fit in with the seedy crowd.. yes.. you are correct.. your best bet would be to slum with the slumming but well loved dignitaries.. have you run into hugh grant yet?
~Lace~
you mean hugh grant as darcy lace..of course he frequents the prostitute boudoirs all the time...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I say BUY WINDSOR!
Ankles, butt cracks and all!
windsor is not to my taste a bit to chintzy for me..no it would be satis house along with miss havisham...go and blow a few cobwebs...
no mosquitos here too darn cold...
It's hot as Hades here right now...
May I borrow a spider?
...I think I might write a story using those verification words that make me giggle...
ll send bomber harris over he is the bin ladin of spiders...oh yes those words that pop up and make no sense...
Does he spin a turban?
lmao...yes and sandals..
i personally have to do that word verificatio thing several times before i get one rite.. to comment.. apparently i am dyslexic.. youd think that the handicapped icon could help a lady like me out!
~Lace~
(PS you two crack me rite up)
Post a Comment
<< Home