PUNISHMENT DETAIL!....
as part of alfies punishment for his dalliance with the third reich nein lives society...i sent him off to repent his sins .....who does he bump in to none other than the jesus christ of latter-day saints mob!...he was only gone for two days...but when he returned to me this morning this is what i found...alfie in a pink frilly dress (so last year)...THEY MADE HIM A MORMON WIFE!!.... he is severely traumatized he is sitting in the corner as i type rocking back and forward in his pink dress....rambling incoherently words like ...cooking-sewing-flower arrangeing-group sex-....what to do??....
posted by gypsy noir at 7/01/2006
26 Comments:
Alfie is a feline funny faced fellow!
Looking fab in the lace, dahling...
Gypsy, I can just see you holding that yowling white ball of fluff down while shimmying him into his lace corset!
the worrying thing about it dale is that he actually enjoys dressing up!...
Ohhh, I see...
So the flower arranging & group sex are probably things he likes too...?
Poor Alfie... why does he rock so?
I'd be worried only when he begins head-banging...
...take it from an expert.
i think its the experience of being a mormon wife...and cooking and cleaning he aint used to that...but the group sex he can handle no probs...he only head bangs when he goes to the monsters of rock festivals..
Oh my God, Gypsy, it's gone from bad to worse!! I'm sticking with my original idea of cheap liquor in the water dish...those mormons are against drink, aren't they? One drunk kitty sent over to their sect for his daily chores ought to get him kicked out right quick....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh, Alfie old chap, DO snap out of it, oh, oh, HAHHAHAHAHAHA, oh, my side hurts, oh mercy, *wipes tears from eyes*, I can't breathe, I can't breathe....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!, frills really do suit you, you know. *tries to look serious* Shall I sew you a winter frock in a darker shade of pink?? *bursts* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... OH, oh, let me gasp for breath, oh, Gypsy, perhaps he was a little GIRL kitty all along?? HMMMM??? HAHAHAHA.... *rolls uncontrollably on the floor laughing*
I get to miss the monsters festival - not living in the UK, but Angus has told me all about it...
I lived only 2 hours from Woodstock, but still under a 12-year old's lock & key...
My best friend's brother went & he was my hero...and not necessarily because of Woodstock...
Hey, do the Mormons do the hole in the blanket trick like the Hutterites?
Probably not, as they are into blatant polygamy...
Brother Alfred.
ha! yes mary beth a drunken alfie in a dress now theres a sight to behol...sammy...now dont be unkind to alfie he has had a magor shock you know..he is sitting in the pink dress still staring blankly in to space...he is a boy though cause the vet definatly snipped his gonads off...oh wow dale you lived near woodstock fabulous..er whats this hole in the blanket thingy you speak of do tell????
Oh Gypsy,
I'll send Creemie to the rescue. She'll make a man out of him again, you'll see.
Cheers,
AM
Hello Gypsy,
I am here to rescue my little Alfie from moron...I mean mormonism.
Bonjour, mon petit Alfie. Although I am quite open-minded about females, and I have dabbled in my youth, I much prefer my men to be in leathers or denims. Off with the frilly frock, Alfie, and I'll sneak into Mummy's case on Friday and show you a good time, alright?
*bisous*
Creemie
thankyou anne marie i think creemie and her womanly wilds is just what he needs to snap him out of this..we could have another frankenfuter on our hands here..creemie my little angel of mercy you are sooo kind..x..ill relay your msg to alfie via hand signals..i dont think he can hear..the shock you see ..ill give him a stiff whiskey too..
OH, no Gypsy - not to be unkind.... *snicker*..no, *ahem*, I'm trying not to laugh, though that picture of him in a dress is worth millions!
Perhaps you could enlist the efforts of that monster cat Alfie encountered while in jail last month...mad joe metal claws was it? Surely that would get his back up and snap him out of it!
Really, I'm feeling terrible for little Alfie and his issues with the mormons....*snickering again thinking of the pink dress*
Sammy, you shouldn't be a snicker-puss at someone else's misfortunes.....
Regarding the hole in the blanket thingy...
At one point the Hutterites were becoming too inbred, so they hired "outside blood" for breeding...
In order to remain anonymous, word has it the woman would be completely covered by the blanket & there was a hole cut into it at a strategic point...
Pretty silly, if you ask me!
sammy listen to your mummy..you are sooo cruel laughing at alfies misfortune...mind you when he turned up i had to bite my lip as i wanted to laugh too..i waited till he went to the bathroom then fell about ...and then put my concerned look back on when he returned....dale lmao...we do that here with the blanket too but only if they're ugly..aha..
sniff....shuffle...scratch...he...llo ..everyone...er ..the names alfie ..not alison which those nasty mormons re-named me...im feeling a bit fragile at the mo...ive lost my mojo...im sexually confused...i need to re-group and evaluate my masculinity...either that or go to gay pride weekend .>:0( dale i dont know how many lives i have left, im so spaced out at the mo nothing is real, maybe betty-ford- sierra can help.
Alfie,
Get a grip- forget Betty Ford, forget Sierra, I am here to reclaim your masculinity. I will get over my fear of flying and sneak into Mummy's carry-on, and then you and me will carry-on, got it? Expect my claws and my sticky tongue to be put to good use, my darling Alfie. And off with the frilly dress, baby, I want the furto fly.
*meow!!! purrrrr! and of course, bisous, bisous, bisous!!!*
Creemie
CREEMIE!!!!..mon petit i feel my mojo rising as we speak...im ripping this damn dress to shreads..oo la la ..get in that bag now you minx...purrr...growl!!!
See, all you need is a cute pussy(cat) and then all becomes right with the world.
And in three hours, the Who!
Cheers,
AM
Hey Gypsy, we're doing toilets today!
New toilets all around.
No more leaks - I hope...
The Plumber's Motto:
...shit flows downhill.
...payday is on Friday.
And remember, don't lick your fingers...
AM, I can't watch The Who...
Boo Whoo :(
god anne marie alfie is such a typical tom...one sniff of pussy and he's cured..lol..yay dale new toilet..you will have to christen it with a bottle of champagne..i name this toilet..?...god bless her and all who pee in her...
Well, I'm glad to see you're back to your old self, chap... you may want to put your closetfull of prissy dresses up on Ebay... or will you be keeping them for later in case of a relapse?? *snicker*
I'm the REAL Tom, Creemie!!
Hey there Gypsy, many many thanks for the welcome back...I was too late last night and too hot today to get into any blogging. It is crippling inside my boat today - nearly 40 degrees. Busy trying to do something about it. Will get back into the swing of things soon, I hope. For now, though, I did some writing while I was away and have just put that up, so at least I did something!
Loves yah 2 xxx
ahahhahhh!! he a gaylord, he is an uphill gardener uuurrgh!
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