WHORES OF THE RING XXXRATED..

IN A TIME LONG LONG AGO..WELL LAST TUESDAY NIGHT TO BE PRECISE..TARQUINE AND HIS POSSÉ KNOWN AS THE LOCAL ARSE BANDITS WENT ON A QUEST TO MORBACDOR..ITS THE BACK END OF TESCOS CARPARK HOLES DEEP!...TO FIND GAGALF THE RING KING...( HE'S REALLY JUST THE LOCAL HOMEOPATH)...FIRST THEY GO FIND THE ELVES WHO ARE JUST AN INBRED FAMILY OF JEHOVAHS... TO SCORE THE MAGIC POTION AMYL NITRITE AND AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF KY GEL..THERE WAS PIP SQUEEK..DILDO BAGGY ARSE...SAM PISSWISE GANJAH ..DOPEY...(HANG ON A MINUTE YOUR IN THE WRONG BLOG YOU SHOULD BE IN SNOW WHITE GOES DOWN ON THE SEVEN DWARFS)...AND OF COURSE TARQUIN...AS THEY CHANT THEIR MERRY SONG..ONE RING TO FOOL US ALL... ONE RING TO TO GRIND US...ONE RING TO BRING US TO OUR KNEES...AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND US...IN THE LAND OF MORBACDOR WHERE THE GAY LORD LIES...AS THEY WERE HAPPILY SINGING AND SNIFFING THE'RE POTION THEY CAME ACROSS THE RING KING HIMSELF LEANING AGAINST A RUSTY SHOPPING TROLLY SMOKING A LARGE PIPE FULL OF HERBAL DELIGHTS..." SO MY LITTLE NOBBITS YOU COME IN SEARCH OF MY PRECIOUS RING ...SOUGHT BY FEW ENTERED BY MANY...HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE YOU GOT"...TARQUINE SAID "WE DID A FEW TRICKS LAST NIGHT AT THE ABBITTOIR AND RAISED £17.47P" PLUS SOME GALA BINGO VOUCHERS...."WELL THAT WILL GAIN ONE OF YOU ACCESS TO MY PRECIOUS ILL HAVE THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE STUPID HAIR-DO AND BLUE PVC SHORTS ON".....OOOHHH!! ITS ME SCREECHES TARQUIN...SO OFF HE GOES ROUND THE BACK OF THE BINS WITH GAGALF .....8 MINS LATER TARQUIN COMES STAGGERING OUT HE RESEMBLES A SPANISH BUS DRIVER WHO HAS HAD A DONKEY STRAPPED BETWEEN HIS LEGS FOR YEARS...BANDY AS A COOT...HIS EYES HAVE FEAR RIPPING THROUGH THEM...BUT HIS MOUTH IS SMILING...HE KEEPS MUMBLING THE WORDS...SA...SA...SAVLON...I NEED SA-VA-LON...HIS POOR DINKLE WAS RIPPED TO SHREADS UPON ENTERING THE RING ...STRANGE HOW I SEEM TO HOLD THE LAST TUBE OF SAVLON IN TRASHINGTON AND THE PRICE HAS JUST GONE UP TEN FOLD....THATS INFLAMATION INFLATION FOR YOU....