YES IT WAS MY FAULT!...

S0me years back now when i was 17..i was working in liverpool in service as a scullery maid for a rich family..but i had to flee one day when my misdemeanours caught up with me...i'd been having an affair with the master of the house...oh and the butler...the footman...and henry the masters son...but it was my flashing of ankles to the coalman that got me sacked...i was caught out by the lady of the house who threw me on to the street for such shameful behaviour..eh-heh! (little did she know)...so i had a wander down to the docks and came upon a vision that was ...*THE SS TITANIC*...she gleemed in all her glory..so i sneaked up the gang plank and became a stow away...thats where i met the sweetest family of russian communist rats...thats pasha strelnikov in the pic he was a struggling musician/political activist/poet/upstart...his wife ninel..(lenin spelt backwards) their 3,000 children...they were starving..so was i!..i decided to go up top and call for my carrier pigeon bert...he came straight to me as always...the captain of the ship saw me and asked for my carrier pigeon number so he could contact me for some lewd sex act involving jump-leads!..so of course i said.."heres my eleven digit number see it gleam in the sun " then uttered the word "gimp" under my breath...i sent bert with a note for benson the butler saying >>>{send cheese out the larder or i will tell your Wife about our affair...oh i have pictures too...love the scullery maid..x...}>>>next day bert comes flying back with a note from benson it read>>>{you bitch! ...i hate you! fucking cheese is on the way...love the butler...x...}>>>great pasha and his family will eat soon...but what happened that fateful night will forever haunt me... the captain was driving the boat it was a lovely evening so i sent bert with a note to the captain saying ..{get the jump-leads ready ill be up in ten minutes}...as he was reading the note he didn't see the big lump of cheese floating towards the ship...the captains mate shouted.."LUMP OF CHEESE RIGHT AHEAD!"...then...CRASH!!!...in to the cheese ...total panic...the ship was sinking fast...we had to scurry for the lifeboats...course i tried to save the strelnikovs but it was to late...there was pasha in the water as ninel floated on a cigar tin..."ill never let you go "she cried...then she saw a life boat...(well it was a gimp mask floating past actually)..probably the captains...ninel let go of pashas hand and said " sos babe gotta go"..poor pasha sank to his watery grave...his eyes still tinged with disbelief at ninels betrayal ..*cue celine dion* ...so i have had this on my conscience for years...do i lose sleep over it....NAH!...