THE JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY COLLECTION..sponsored by gypsy noir inc...
LAST NIGHT I WAS TALKING TO GOD...WELL, WHEN I SAY.. "TALKING".. I MEAN I SHOUTED AT THE CAT..."JESUS CHRIST ALL-FUCKING-MIGHTY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THROW UP A FUR BALL ON MY *100 WAYS TO KILL A JEHOVAH MANUAL*!!!!...THEN THIS VOICE SAID "HEY THOUST LITTLE HARLET OF SATAN WHOS TONGUE IS SWADDLED IN THE FIRES OF HELL"....I SHIT YOU NOT IT WAS JC THE MAN HIMSELF!....SO WE HAD A CHAT HE TRIED TO CLEANSE MY SOUL..BUT NOT EVEN DOMESTOES COULD DO THAT!..SO HE GAVE UP...THEN I NOTICED HIS JESUS SANDLES...AND I ASK HIM WHY STOP AT THE SANDLES CASH IN ON YOUR NAME YOU ARE THE MOST FAMOUS DESIGNER LABEL KNOWN TO MAN...HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY BUT HE'S USED TO THAT...THEN WE SPAT ON HANDS AND SHOOK ON IT....SOOO HERE IT IS... HOT OFF THE CATWALKS THIS YEARS TOP FASHION ITEMS ..THE JC ALMIGHTY 2006/ETERNITY RANGE...FORGET VERCASE..ARMANI...ROBERT CAVALI...PRADA ...MAHARISHI AND CALVIN ER I FORGET...THESE ARE THE MUST HAVE ITEMS FOR THIS SEASONS MALES...PLUS AFTERSHAVE...AND OF COURSE GUNS FOR THE VARIOUS RELIGIOUS CAUSES ...COMING SOON!! ..*EXTRA LARGE LIGHTERS FOR THE MARTYRS*...YOU KNOW YOU GET A GOOD DEAL WITH JC THE FIRST THE LAST...AND LAST...AND LAST...
posted by gypsy noir at 8/29/2006
24 Comments:
Crap Gypsy, Jesus talks to you in person - and I don't even get a peep on my blog from Pete Townshend...
Maybe it's the hot swaddled tongue thing...
I'd like to place an order for 12 pairs of holy jeans with...er umm... whatever is in them, too.
COD of course...
Bert's exceeded his mileage quota...
Perhaps this Jesus line can find some profit in selling to the Americans...you know, martyr type goods - monogram lighters, roomy cashmere vests for fitting in your dynamite, along with "I fought the bomb and the bomb won" sequin t-shirts......just so they're all on fair playing ground and everything with the various religious causes....*L*
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but dale pete towshend is god in your eyes there for he can be a twat..ill send them COD and you can try whats in them on for size!..good ideas there mary beth..ooh and semtex holders made from lurex...no this is getting silly...ill re-fuel bert with some mileage millet...
I'd like to order 666 bottles of aftershave please. I want to smell good for the end of the world. If I end up in Hell, at least I'll smell nice in the heat.
-AM
anne marie..the aftershave smells a bit like hell...
Phil wants 182 more cases...
I think I'm going to go Tex Mex ce soir... swaddle my tongue in the fires of hell and see what happens...
Oh and give my body freely... i forgot about the harlot bit.
What's this ANONYMOUS bit??
That was me!
...must have hit the anonymous button.
Too bad I can't do that in real life...
my shampain is doing well at the whitehouse..bet you have drank a fair few yourself missy..dont give your body freely dale jesus likes to pay, he did with mary mags..you are already mixed up with your tripple identitys enough without becoming anon aswell!!..
ROFL!!!!! I want a Jesus Has-beenie...as long as he has beenie there himself...is it autographed?
Oh and is there going to be a line in air fresheners too? I want my loo to smell like heaven..;-)
Salvation Army Supplies sounds a bit like the Army and Navy stores...you could sell ex heaven's angels gear and stuff maybe...you know studded wings, leather cloud jackets...that kinda stuff...lol
the has beenies are monogrammed val...that sounds more like hells angels...cant do that i might upset sonny barger..ive read wayward angel..i know what happens... they will be displeased if i cash in on their brand...no i shall stick to ripping jesus off..
Might be easier on your health (or that of your children) if you stay away from The Angels and stick to The Jesus brand...
i've known an angel or two... ishityounot.
talking to god made me think of the song: One of Us. Yeah, I have a song for everything.
If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question
And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good yeah yeah ....
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets
And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good yeah yeah ....
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
I still want an autographed 'Has-Beenie here'. Monogrammed could just be any old has-beenie. Like Lannio said...what if God was one of us....? I want star quality, see!!
god was one of us..he was called morrissey..lol..
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lol Gypsy - my first crush was a malcolm campbell... you'd think i picked on the Scotsmen or something... i guess i doo aye
haven't seen him in a long time... perhaps you've caught a glimpse of him in the carpark.
Ah yes, Dale, I lost Malcolm at the Castle, and then I spotted him ...he had all his stuff in a shopping trolley and was waving a gun around saying something about being a new Malcolm X ....you might find him behind the bike sheds at that abbatoir in Trashington...seems to be where all lost guides, souls ...and comments..end up
...or ..what was his name..Campbell...perhaps he went down the soup factory...
my first crush was when i stepped on a ferocious bee i think..or when big bertha sat on me...would that be andy worhol factory val?..
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