LES THE GUITAR A SHOCKING TRUE STORY....

as you are aware pete townshend was a life time guitar smasher upper...well i was one of those guitars..thats me in the pic...heres the tragic tale of how it is to be a some say fortunate i say unfortunate smashed up guitar..my name is les #red wine paul...my life started out as trees..my parents were mahogany and alder...( er no guitar anoraks correcting me here saying things like well actually it was bla bla bla! it doesn't matter its only a story ok) they were introduced after being hacked down and the result was ME!..a fine guitar by any standard....as i hung in the guitar shop ophanage waiting to be bought/adopted by some famous musician i used to dream of how i would end up ...maybe on the cover of a best selling LP..or in a glass case in some rock and roll history museum...or even the musical instrument section of exchange and mart..all those dreams were shattered however the day pete townshend ran in the music shop and stole me from my wall mount...i was thrown in the back of a van on to a pile of other guitars...none of us knew our fate ...we just lay there our eyes meeting each others with the same fear of the unknown wrapped round them..whilst spending time in the back of the van i developed a serious creosote sniffing habbit..finally i was plucked from the pile by some snotty nosed roadie whos name was dave...he threw me at pete and said here use this one for tonights gig....i must say the time me and pete spent together as he gently and sometimes wildly plucked my strings was what being a guitar is all about it was the highest accolade one could serve as he played me with such dedication and skill ..i was in the throws of my first orgasm..it was my first time..but little did i know it was to be my last...i was played by pete with such precision that night at the gig to 1000's of worshipping fans revelling in my tones and beauty as pete made love to me with his plectrum..i was a star!...then as the gig was reaching its climax...for no reason pete turned on me..he took me by the neck and smashed me off the ground....i let out a KRAANGG!! sound to display my pain but he just kept smashing my body in to the ground...i was in such pain every electro pulse screaming stop!..he seemed to be in a trance... didn't care for me anymore...he smashed me to bits... i was lying all over the stage in bits pete walked away without a second glance...my music career over..i was swept up by the cleaners who decided to make a bit of money from me by putting my various body parts on e-bay...thats where i am now..its so humiliating for one as fine as i..who started out with such hopes and dreams ..im nothing more than a fragment of wood once caressed and eventually broken by one such as cool as pete townshend...my creosote addiction and obsession with cuprinol my only friends..i had a cousin strat met the same unfortunate end at the hands of jimmy hendrix...so all you budding musicians who think its cool to smash up guitars just remember ..WE HAVE FEELING..WE BLEED!...ok not literally i said that for dramatic effect and sympathy..