MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE
OBSSESIVE COMPLUSIVE_PRESS ONE REPEATEDLY....
CO-DEPENDANT_ASK SOMEONE TO PRESS TWO FOR YOU....
MULTI-PERSONALITYS _PRESS THREE/FOUR/FIVE AND SIX....
PARANOID_ WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT... STAY ON THE LINE AND WE'LL TRACE YOUR CALL....
DELUSIONAL_PRESS SEVEN AND YOUR CALL WILL BE TRANSFERED TO THE MOTHERSHIP....
SCHIZOPHRENIC_LISTEN CAREFULLY AND A SMALL VOICE WILL TELL YOU WHICH NUMBER TO PRESS....
DEPRESSIVE_IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH NUMBER YOU PRESS, NO ONE WILL ANSWER YOU....
DYSLEXIC_PRESS 6969696969
NERVOUS DISORDER_PLEASE FIDGET WITH THE HASH KEY UNTILL THE BEEP....AFTER THE BEEP PLEASE WAIT FOR THE BEEP....
SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS_PLEASE TRY YOUR CALL AGAIN LATER....
LOW SELF ESTEEM_PLEASE HANG-UP..ALL OUR OPERATORS ARE TO BUSY TO TALK TO YOU...
CO-DEPENDANT_ASK SOMEONE TO PRESS TWO FOR YOU....
MULTI-PERSONALITYS _PRESS THREE/FOUR/FIVE AND SIX....
PARANOID_ WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT... STAY ON THE LINE AND WE'LL TRACE YOUR CALL....
DELUSIONAL_PRESS SEVEN AND YOUR CALL WILL BE TRANSFERED TO THE MOTHERSHIP....
SCHIZOPHRENIC_LISTEN CAREFULLY AND A SMALL VOICE WILL TELL YOU WHICH NUMBER TO PRESS....
DEPRESSIVE_IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH NUMBER YOU PRESS, NO ONE WILL ANSWER YOU....
DYSLEXIC_PRESS 6969696969
NERVOUS DISORDER_PLEASE FIDGET WITH THE HASH KEY UNTILL THE BEEP....AFTER THE BEEP PLEASE WAIT FOR THE BEEP....
SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS_PLEASE TRY YOUR CALL AGAIN LATER....
LOW SELF ESTEEM_PLEASE HANG-UP..ALL OUR OPERATORS ARE TO BUSY TO TALK TO YOU...
posted by gypsy noir at 11/12/2006
26 Comments:
Oh Gypsy, I'm crying with laughter over your hotline - it's brilliant....thanks so much, wee one, for being my smile a day ;-)
My favourite one was...no...they're all my favourite!...but what about one for indecision...they would have to hover over the numbers before choosing zero, nought or just oh..;-)
By the way, about my engine, don't worry, the old girl's going to a good home with someone who's going to put her to the kind of work that befits her advanced years. she'll no go off them rails, lass...she's solid as a rock that one and no lost comments, nut(ter)s or loose screws for her..;-)
PS...you have to do Alecia/Anne Marie's 9 weird things about yoruself too now!
i done it yay!!...val just keep an eye on her she is in a fragile state maybe she could ring..
BARGE DISTRESS_dont press anything love you might collapse..ha ha..
I've seen this before- on Neil's blog?- and it still makes me laugh.
I think our collective 27 weird things are rather tame... Still deciding whether this is a good thing or not. ;)
OH NO ILL BE IN TROUBLE FOR COPYRIGHT..SHIT!!!...i never saw it!!!..
yes definately a good thing ..
*LOL* I think someone sent this to me as an e-mail forward some time back - it's well worth reading again, though!
Thanks for your poem on my comments. :)
right it was a ring tone i have on my new phone i painstakenly listened and copied it out..didnt steal if off neil nor get in an e-mail..hmph!!!!!!...
angry of the north!..grrr!..
Chronically indecisive ... oh which one help I don't know maybe all of them aaarrghhh!!! Must show this to my sister - I's actually pretty sure she'd have most of these on speed dial already though.
Loved the mod wolves btw - what moves! Tres cool.
Also loved your Armistice Day post. We still have many country towns here where we lost entire generations of young men in two world wars. Those who came back never really recovered. How could they? My Great Uncle was at Gallipoli, and was sent to the beach "hospital" with mumps two days before the attack on the Nek (a suicidal bloodbath portrayed in the film "Gallipoli"). This almost certainly saved him - none of his closest mates survived. After the mass evacuation, he was sent to the Somme for the duration. I'll never know how he came home sane. He lived to nearly 100 without speaking of the horrors he lived through.
My 12-year-old won five dollars in a Cup Day sweep last week. She spent it on a Remembrance Day poppy. I wasn't half chuffed.
I heard that on the radio last week and split a gut - I even remembered most of it, too!
... you know the menopausal-short-term-memory-lapse thing!
Sorry I'll have to call again later...
What is a hash key?
Have I called again later?
I would like to initiate a call on behalf of me - I forget why...
Hello... Hello...
I hear there's anger in the North?
... or did I remember correctly?
Am I having deja vu - or have I tried this number before?
What's this 9 weird things?
There has to be more than that...
Hello
Hello
thanks for all that margie..a guy commenting today on the old soldiers parade said the oldest soldier in britain who is 110, wasn't here he said not because he was ill but because he was at the french parade.amazing eh!!..you love the mod wolves i can tell...
hmm dale what to do with you..DALE YOU HAVE LOST YOUR WAY.GO HOME!...
oh you have to do anne maries 9 weirdest things bout yourself..if you can remember..
btw margie that was a sweet thing for your girl to do...
Brilliant post Gypsy (I know I always say this but then again I always mean it).
I discovered a set of photos that are all about dereliction: http://www.flickr.com/groups/derelictlight/pool/show/
or if that link is too long, take this one (it's the same): http://tinyurl.com/y8gb39
I see Dale's added another line to your options..if you're an amnesiac you have to ring twice...the second time to apologise for forgetting the first...um...what was that?...lol
I'm glad I've never seen this before...did me good to have such a laugh..;-)
oooops...I forgot the short term memory loss one...maybe I need to call ;-)
vally pee?..who are you?..ive forgot..who am i?..where am i?..im lost......
oh yes ive just looked in the mirror..ITS ME!!!...lol..
It's our age Val and Gypsy!
I can't remember one day to the next...
Nor can I remember peoples' names - that sometimes puts me on the spot.
UM..ER...EH?...UM EM..OH YES..WHAT?..
It's when you forget how to talk that you know trouble's a comin'
errrrr....vallypeeee?.....who's sheeee?
Oh yes! It's me...he he
String! I do that sometimes...when I'm in the middle of a class too...everything comes out as gobbledegook..and I forget what I was trying to say too!
Dale, I'm in a much more advanced stage than you and Gypsy..boohoo. I've got two years head start!
OLO i can relate!
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