GREAT EXPECTATIONS 2036

THE YEAR IS 2002 THE WIND BLEW COLD OUTSIDE BUT MISSHAVERSHAM@HOTMAIL.CON WAS WARM AND COSY IN HER MASION WHICH WAS SITUATED JUST OUTSIDE DARTMOOR PRISON..SHE WAS SITTING AT HER COMPUTER AS USUAL GOING THROUGH HER ACCOUNTS AND JUNK E-MAILS...WHEN SHE NOTICED AN ADVERT POP UP FOR ONLINE DATING.. FINDABEAU.CON ..HMM IT CAUGHT HER EYE AS SHE HAD NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND BEFORE AT 40 SHE FELT THAT LIFE HAD PASSED HER BY AND LOVE WAS NOT FOR HER..NEVER THE LESS OUT OF CURIOSITY SHE CLICKED THE ICON AND THE FIRST PICTURE THAT CAME UP WAS WALTER...HE WAS 40 ASWELL..HE WASN'T YOUR AVERAGE GOOD LOOKING GUY INFACT HE WAS GINGER AND TOOTHLESS..BUT MISS HAVERSHAM SAW SOMETHING IN HIM AND PROMPTLY CLICKED HIS E-MAIL ADDRESS AND QUICKLY TYPED HER LIFE STORY TO HIM...ALSO CONVEYNG HER INTEREST IN HIM TOO..SHE PRESSED SEND AND WAITED IN ATICIPATION......3 HOURS LATER HE REPLIED..

[DEAREST MISS HAVERSHAM IVE BEEN ON THIS DATING SITE FOR 5 YEARS NOW AND YOUR THE ONLY ONE TO REPLY TO MY ADD...WILL YOU MARRY ME?]..

[OH YES! YES !WALTER I WILL...I LOVE YOU]..

SO EVERY NIGHT AT 6 THEY WOULD MEET ONLINE IN THE CHAT ROOM..CHAT TILL THE EARLY HOURS...HE SENT HER A VIRTUAL ROSE..SHE PRINTED IT OUT AND KEPT IT UNDER HER PILLOW....AHH SHE COULD SMELL WALTERS EMAIL ADDRESS ON IT HOW SWEET...
THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 6 YEARS...THEN ONE NIGHT SHOCK! HORROR!...WALTER DIDN'T COME ONLINE...SHE SAT THERE FOR 3 WEEKS WONDERING AND WAITING FOR HIM TO COME ONLINE..SHE DIDN'T EAT OR SLEEP SHE SAT THERE..EYES FIXED TO THE SCREEN...LONGING FOR THE LITTLE PICTURE OF HIM TO RISE FROM THE ETHER ..SHE GOT THE COMPUTER BOY OUT TO SEE IF HER COMPUTER WAS BANDY BUT HE SAID IT WAS WORKING FINE..OF COURSE SHE WOULDN'T HAVE IT AND GOT HIM OUT TIME AND TIME AGAIN OVER THE YEARS.....TILL EVENTUALLY HE WOULDN'T COME NO MORE...
WELL THE COMPUTER BOY GREW INTO A MAN AND HE OFTEN WONDERED WHAT BECAME OF THE STRANGE MISS HAVERSHAM...SO ONE DAY HE POPPED IN TO SEE HER...HE WAS FREAKED OUT BECAUSE THE HOUSE WAS EXCACTLY THE SAME AS IT WAS WHEN HE LAST VISITED ABOUT 24 YEARS AGO...SHE WAS SITTING THERE ONLINE...DRESSED IN THE WEDDING DRESS SHE HAD CHOSE FOR THEIR BIG DAY...OLD AND GREY NOW..SHE AND THE COMPUTER WERE COVERD IN COBWEBS..THE HOUSE WAS IN DARKNESS EXCEPT FOR A CANDLE SHE HAD BURNING NEXT TO A PHOTOCOPY PICTURE OF WALTER....THE COMPUTER BOY/GUY PULLED DOWN THE CURTAINS AND OPENED THE DOORS TO LET IN LIGHT AND FRESH AIR..AND TO LET THE CAT OUT...BUT SHE NEVER EVEN LIFTED HER EYES FROM THE SCREEN..HE SHOOK HER AND SAID.."MISS HAVERSHAM GIVE IT UP HE ISN'T COMING BACK HE'S PROBERBLY MARRIED OR DEAD"!....SILENCE ...
A GUST OF WIND BLEW THE PICTURE OF WALTER TO THE FLOOR... SHE MOMENTARILY TOOK HER EYES OFF THE SCREEN TO PICK IT UP AS SHE DID SO SHE KNOCKED THE CANDLE OFF AND IT LANDED ON THE PIC..IT QUICKLY TOOK ALIGHT... SHE TRIED TO SAVE IT BUT SHE FELL ON IT SETTING HER WEDDING DRESS ALIGHT TOO.!..SHE BURST IN TO FLAMES...COMPUTER BOY/MAN TRIED TO PUT HER OUT THWACKING HER WITH AN OLD ROLLED UP CARPET NOT REALISING HE SHOULD HAVE ROLLED HER IN IT..BUT IT WAS TO LATE...HE HAD TO RUN FROM THE HOUSE WHICH WAS NOW A BLAZING INFERNO..

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT A MODERN DAY CLASSIC TALE...
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS....
GET BROADBAND ITS MUCH QUICKER!...

THE END.....