FOR MY MAM 'IVY'..AND ALL MUMS..
YOU'VE HEARD OF THE SAYING TIED TO YOUR MOTHERS APRON STRINGS..WELL, I WAS..LITERALLY!, I USED TO FOLLOW HER EVERYWHERE WITH MY HAND TUCKED IN HER APRON POCKET...IT USED TO ANNOY HER SOMETIMES, BUT MOST OF THE TIME SHE WOULDN'T NOTICE...THE PICTURE IS OF ME MY MAM AND HER SISTER EVA ON THE FAR RIGHT ...WE WERE VISITING HER AT THE LOCAL MENTAL INSTITUTION, AS WE DID MANY TIMES..WE WERE THE ONLY ONES THAT DID..BUT THE TRAGIC STORY OF MY AUNT EVA DESERVES A WHOLE BLOG OF ITS OWN..
I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE DAY IT STOPPED BEING GOOD...SHORTLY AFTER MY 21ST BIRTHDAY MAM HAD POPPED IN TO SEE ME AS SHE OFTEN WOULD....AND I HAVE THIS MEMORY ETCHED IN MY MIND...AS SHE WAS LEAVING I WAVED HER OFF DOWN THE STREET...SHE WAS SMILING AND SO WAS I...AS SHE GOT FURTHER AWAY, I GOT THIS FORBODING FEELING THAT I WAS GOING TO LOSE HER...I RAN IN THE HOUSE AND SOBBED MY HEART OUT...
SHORTLY AFTER THAT I FOUND OUT SHE HAD CANCER...AND WHAT FOLLOWED WAS THE WORSE YEAR OF MY LIFE, AS I WATCHED THIS STRONG HAPPY WOMAN FADE AWAY,IN THE MOST UNDIGNIFIED WAY TO AN EMPTY SHELL BEFORE MY VERY EYES..HELPLESS TO SAVE HER....IT HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON THE REST OF MY LIFE..
THERE'S NOT A DAY GOES BY WHEN I DON'T THINK OF HER..AND TO 'NEIL' AND INDEED ANYONE WHO HAS LOST THEIR MAM...ALL I CAN SAY IS ..THEY NEVER LEAVE US, THEY DO COME BACK WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT..THEY LOOK AFTER US FROM AFAR...I KNOW THIS FOR SURE...YOU NEVER GET OVER IT, BUT WITH TIME YOU LEARN TO TUCK THE HURT IN A SPECIAL PLACE...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOTHERS..XXX...
I MISS HER SMELL...
posted by gypsy noir at 3/16/2007
21 Comments:
Dearest Gypsy. I got a big lump in my throat just reading your post. You'll never forget your mum, I know. The picture is lovely. I can see how you snuggled up to her and it shows how much you love her. What a special way to remember her.
For me, this time of year belongs to my dad as it was his birthday on the 20th and I have been thinking of him a lot this week.
Mother's day is in May in Holland...in South Africa too!
I understand val..ill be thinking of you that day too..sending cuddles via ether..
Cuddles received and understood....and reciprocated xxx
Gypsy, it brought a lump to my throat, as well.
What a lovely photo to have as a memory of happy days.
Although, you were in every sense an adult when she passed away, you were far too young to lose your mother...
My heart goes out to you.
My Dad lost his Mum when he was twelve, so I never met my paternal Grandmother, although I did know my Step-Grandmother.
It's funny how certain moments become etched in our memory for a lifetime...
I am also sorry to hear that your Aunt's story is a sad one, as well.
Motherhood is the greatest gift I have ever received.
xx
Anonymous?
It's me, Dale!
...our Mother's Day is celebrated in May, as well.
I'm glad you shared your memories with us Gypsy - I too got a lump in my throat. She obviously was a special person and helped you become the person you are. A mother-daughter bond can certainly be a special tie.
Hope you have a good day.
Lesley
awe thanks dale and lannio..x..
yes my dads mam and dad were dead before i was born and my mams mam..(she died when my mam was expecting me and my twin bro)..but mams dad was alive and i loved him..i used to take his dinner on my chopper bike..he was great..such a character..a bugger in his day though..lol..
What a lovely tribute, Gypsy. As Dale said, our Mothers Day is in May.
gyps.. you didnt have to say who was who in the pic.. it is so apparent.. your connection.. you both look beautiful.. you both have heart.. the only ones to visit aunt eva.. bravehearts.. hearts of gold..
xoxox
~Lace~
Scent plays a bigger part in our lives than we are led to believe...
Hands in my pocket...
Hands in my pocket...
Hands in my pocket...
I remember my dad's dad too, but he was always in a wheelchair. Even so, He ahd the twinkliest brown eyes you ever saw.
Am thinking of you wee one. Your mum's with you still.
While the ladies express their feelings so eloquently, I can only stammer m m m me too.
We love you lots, Gypsy.
I hope we'll meet you soon...
hey Gyspy...
Mother's Day is a wonderful day, no matter what time of year you celebrate it... but sometimes it can be bitterweet...
I still have my mum and so does Ian... we are both very lucky.
I thing I am going to post my mother's day column from last year on my blog...
Your mum sounds like someone I would have liked to know... she gave us you, after all... and we are forever blessed for that gift...
...she will be with you always, and I wish I could have had a cup of tea with you the day you wrote this post, and maybe some Indian take-out...
soon there will be another life to celebrate, and another way for her to be part off your life through your wee grandbaby...
Oh, Gypsy - what a loving, poignant post. I do know what it feels like to lose your mum, but what you endured watching yours decline in health over the year must have been painful beyond belief. I lost mine very quickly (well, over three days, but she was in a coma after a sudden massive brain hemhorrage), and that was hard enough to deal with, even knowing she wasn't suffering.
Your feeling of foreboding shows how close you were - that sort of sixth sense comes only though the stongest, most loving bonds.
You are so right - our mothers are still with us, always with us, and we feel them most strongly when the need is greatest. And mine still makes me laugh.
Happy Mothers Day to you too Gypsy.
M x
Ohhh, what a sad story! I saw on my calendar that it's Mothering Day today (though we have actual Mother's Day in May here too). It's funny (in a non-haha sort of way) how we can have premonitions about family and friends. Scary really, and it's almost better *not* to have the premonition so you don't have to worry about what you feel is coming. I guess there are good and bad sides to it. Cancer is never fair, though, but it's lovely that you have wonderful memories of your Mom. :)
A lovely post :)
Happy mothers day mam xxx
P.s I know he's not here yet but do I count as a mam to be lol ;)
awe everybody..you lovely lot you!.x.(sniff)..
dale ive got one hand in my pocket and the other one flicking a cigarette..lol..
val and koos..x..
stevie yay your back..yes post it i'd like to read it..
i'm in nana-gedon denial...
margie thankyou..x..im sorry to hear of your mam too..it hurts however they go..
yes mb they can be good and bad premonitions...
chantal of course your included..you are already a mam even though harveys arrival is imminent..
well, i'm not sad today i'm greatful for having a lovely mam for that time..some don't..
I too got a lump in my throat reading your post. Fantastic pic, you can see your love for her in it. I lost my Mom to cancer in 2001, she went in just about 5 weeks, at home, with myself, my brother and my sister by her side, Dad was already gone 2 years. You are right, you learn to tuck the hurt away. Here's to Mom's everywhere.
xx grace
Wow, what a sad story and lovely tribute! I agree, they are with us and at the least expected times. I feel my grandmother - and know she is watching over me. Mothers Day in the US is the first weekend in May.
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