8 REALLY-REALLY-REALLY TRUE FACTS..REALLY..DID I SAY REALLY?..
OK YOU KNOW THE RULES AND I CAN'T REMEMBER THEM SO HERE GOES...
FACTOR 1-WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD I HAD WOODEN LEGS AND REAL FEET, I GOT INFECTED WITH DUTCH ELM DISEASE AND HAD THE WOODEN LEGS REPLACE WITH REAL ONES..
FACTOR 2-I WAS ONCE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, THE FERRIONS...
FACTOR 3-I'VE TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME AND BLOGGED FROM A 'YE OLDE WEB INN'..
FACTOR 4-MY LATEST KITTY VIXEN IS NO LONGER A SHE, JUST FOUND OUT THAT ALFIE TOOK HER TO A RUSSIAN SURGEON FOR A SEX CHANGE, IT WAS CHEAP AND NASTY THEY ONLY GAVE HER/HIM ONE BOLLOCK..ANNE MARIE WROTE A BRILLIANT DITTY ON THIS SUBJECT ON THE PREVIOUS POST..
FACTOR 5-LOU REED MET ME ONCE..
FACTOR 6-I ONCE TOLD A TEDDY BEAR TO GET STUFFED AND IT DID!..
FACTOR 7-I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY "YOU REALLY GET UP MY NOSE"..AS TECHNICALLY THATS IMPOSSIBLE UNLESS YOU HAVE AN EXTREMELY LARGE NOSE...
FACTOR 8-IV'E BEEN TO ME BUT I'VE NOT BEEN TO PARADISE..BUT FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD IT'S MUCH TO HOT THERE AND THE BEER IS REALLY EXPENSIVE..
FACTOR 9-I HAVEN'T GOT ONE BUT WANTED TO PRETEND I DID TO INVENT FACT NINE EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T IN THE RULES BUT SEEING AS THERES NO MORE PEOPLE TO TAG FACT NINE CAN BE THAT FACT..
FACTOR 1-WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD I HAD WOODEN LEGS AND REAL FEET, I GOT INFECTED WITH DUTCH ELM DISEASE AND HAD THE WOODEN LEGS REPLACE WITH REAL ONES..
FACTOR 2-I WAS ONCE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, THE FERRIONS...
FACTOR 3-I'VE TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME AND BLOGGED FROM A 'YE OLDE WEB INN'..
FACTOR 4-MY LATEST KITTY VIXEN IS NO LONGER A SHE, JUST FOUND OUT THAT ALFIE TOOK HER TO A RUSSIAN SURGEON FOR A SEX CHANGE, IT WAS CHEAP AND NASTY THEY ONLY GAVE HER/HIM ONE BOLLOCK..ANNE MARIE WROTE A BRILLIANT DITTY ON THIS SUBJECT ON THE PREVIOUS POST..
FACTOR 5-LOU REED MET ME ONCE..
FACTOR 6-I ONCE TOLD A TEDDY BEAR TO GET STUFFED AND IT DID!..
FACTOR 7-I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY "YOU REALLY GET UP MY NOSE"..AS TECHNICALLY THATS IMPOSSIBLE UNLESS YOU HAVE AN EXTREMELY LARGE NOSE...
FACTOR 8-IV'E BEEN TO ME BUT I'VE NOT BEEN TO PARADISE..BUT FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD IT'S MUCH TO HOT THERE AND THE BEER IS REALLY EXPENSIVE..
FACTOR 9-I HAVEN'T GOT ONE BUT WANTED TO PRETEND I DID TO INVENT FACT NINE EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T IN THE RULES BUT SEEING AS THERES NO MORE PEOPLE TO TAG FACT NINE CAN BE THAT FACT..
posted by gypsy noir at 9/09/2007
46 Comments:
So what were your legs made of when you were 2?
Ah yes the Ferrions and I recognise the Inne...and the velcro feet.
What is male for Vixen?
I can't wait to meet you, too!
As far as the bears go, I think you started a trend.
I can't help it, but I live in Paradise, but I'm still trying to find me...
Number 9 Number 9 Number 9
I've never had the pleasure of being up someone's nose.
I thought factor 5 was a sunscreen???
LOVE your collection Gypsy, and Factor 8 had me laughing out loud - geez I hate that song.
Poor Vixen! Talk about short-changed. Any chance she / he could be batting for both sides? Sounds like a case of neither one thing nor the other.
Loved AM's song too!
WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD I HAD WOODEN LEGS AND REAL FEET, I GOT INFECTED WITH DUTCH ELM DISEASE AND HAD THE WOODEN LEGS REPLACE WITH REAL ONES..
you TOO!?!?! no wonder we get along so well..
:P
~Lace~
ps.. loved your answers gyps.. you keep me rockin and rollin (in the aisles)
pps.. hey wait.. tag neil..
Ha ha, I love your fact-similes ;)
*cursty for the ditty*
xx
AM
Margie - we have number 45.
I think there must be an Imperial/Metric thing going on...
OMG- I should have realized that what this really says is that you are one of the most amazing and wonderfully creative people that I know (but who I haven't met!!).
You are just fabs!
xx
Lesley
Dale - I think factor five is probably chip fat, so wouldn't be much good anyway. We're only allowed to label sunscreens up to 30 here, because after that it doesn't make any difference. After two hours in the sun no amount of any factor's going to stop you roasting like a pig on a spit, so the manufacturers aren't allowed to suggest it will by bragging about their numbers.
With the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world, we take our sunscreen seriously here! I go ape if my girls get sunbunt. My eldest lost a school friend three weeks shy of her fourteenth birthday due to melanoma. Ouch.
On a brighter note (please!!!), have you checked out Stevie's S'mores 101 post? It's fabulous, and I'm gagging for them!
And Gypsy, have you found the other half of that pizzle yet? (Do you know that term, or am I lapsing into Oz-speak again?) btw, I could happily thump you at the moment - ever since I read your list I've had " ... I've been to Georgia, and California and I've sipped champagne from a yacht ... etc etc" running through my poor tortured brain. I don't know what's worse - having the song on this unrelenting loop, or having to face the fact that I seem to know all the bloody words!
Thanks for that.
Fascinating! I had no idea...
A visit to Gypsy's blog is always a walk on the wild side! Nice job, A-M!
Do people really say "You really get up my nose"? That's just weird.
I've been to paradise, twice actually, and it was lovely both north and south. I'll just keep trying to find me wherever I happen to be. (Really hated that song, too BTW)
ROFL!
Oh Gypsy, brilliant answers! I rather suspected you might be in inter-kingdom transplant recipient!
Soooo sorry you've been sick Gypsy, but soooo glad Neil was there to give you cuddles and care!
I love your facts 1 and 9. Brilliant! Wooden legs replaced by real ones...ha ha ha were they a bit rickets-y...ouch. that was bad even for me!
Rock on the Ferrions too!
I've not been up anyones nose either Dale..urgh! the thought of it (((shudder)))..I'd like to meet you too..:0)..Yes it was tinkerbell who started it, I think he got abducted too.
Hehe Marge thaat! song was in my bloody head too..sorry I unleashed it..just sing
I've been a parasite but i've never been a flea..hehe..
Lace me long lost sister, you had magic legs too!!..
Well deserved AM..I was singing that to the tune too..
Lesley..awe shucks fankoo..x..
Margie , thats tragic what happened to your daughters friend and so young,,scary..
No joy on the bollock niether, was thinking of putting an ad in the lost and found..
Yes rache but have you ever been to me?..
Stevie, i've not heard that term before but ...yes...
Val, you remember the ferrions and Brian Ferrys head bobbing up and down outside my window..
Ricketts, oh yes!..BANDY!!..
What about naming Vixen Fox?
As a vixen is a female fox...
Margie!
Pizzle!!! LOL
You are regressing to OZ speak again.
Margie, what a tragic story about your daughter's friend. We had the sam paranoia in SA for much the same reasons, but don't think it was quite as bad as OZ...by the way, what IS a pizzle??
LOL Gyspy, bobbing Ferrion heads rocking to an fro...I do indeed remember...
BANDY!!! ROFL
Just reminds we we had a girl at work once that we called Blue Band legs...cos she was really good at spreading them...hmmmm have I told you that one before? Notice I am NOT saying marge legs...sorry Margie...*cowers in expectation of Margie throwing something hard at her all the way from OZ*
Gyspy, you could call Vixen VixSON now!
Haha Stevie, I've also just been at Dale's and my suggestion was...ahem...wait for it...ready?
Right...well Vic's son..yes!
OK ...maybe just Vic?
The French have the expression "la moutarde me monte au nez" (mustard is going up my nose!) to mean they are starting to lose their temper. Don't you just love that image?
xx
AM
To me? Isn't that what they used to cry in battle - when the King called out "To me! to me!" all the soldiers would rally about and kick ass in a smaller area or something...or was that the Ferrions...oh he**
I'm in denial. I don't want the loop in my head any more than Margie does....
Or the mustardy nose thing....
You've reminded me of a very funny story I got in an e-mail once. If I can find it I'll post it. It's, um, mustardy...
Vicks nasal spray...
Speaking Vics and up your nose and stuff.
Dale! LOL!! Vick's, the cat that rubs over your chest but gets up your nose...
I see your BF is rubbing off on you...
lucky you!
:)
Thanks for the kind words, I did thank you at my blog too!
ok enough dorkiness for today.
ttfn,
Suexxxx
Hahaha! Vics-son..but who is Vic?..i've had a traumatic experience, think I feel a blog coming on...lol..
Ooooh mustard is aweful in the mouth let alone up ya nose!!..
Suesjoy!, thats just naughty ;0)
The suspence is building! Not sure i like the sound of traumatic thou-
Cheryl, when i say traumatic, i'm exagerating and over dramatizing a wee bit..
It involves some rolling tobacco and some V stange creepy crawleys..
eeeuuuuu!! I'm still in suspence:)
Well, what happend was my twin bro brought me a ten pk of rolling tobacco from his hols in Grand Canaria a few weeks back. I went to open a packet last night and these little beetles were crawling out, so I opened another packet, same thing!!...I threw them out the window and looked it up on das net.
Apparently they maybe weavils, they get in cigars and tobacco. If you get a pregnant one in your home they breed really fast and destroy your woodwork/books..etc..you have to disinfect all the house!!..which I have. Thing is i'd rolled a cig with it before i noticed the wee beasties and when i smoked it there was these cracking noises!..it was them exploding!!..
I've come to the conclusion that smoking weavils is bad for your health..
Oh and when i told Neilby he said..and I quote..
"Dont kill them they're Babys real family!"...hehehe!..
*gasp!* Alfie wouldn't do a thing like that to Vixen.....would he..???
...and I suppose Pete Townshend's their real father...
snapple pop crackle spuff
YOU SMOKED BEETLES GYPS?!?!?! OH GAH.. DID YOU BOIL YOUR TONGUE???
and margie, that's such a sad thing especially for a girl so young..
you know.. my grandfather used to roll his own cigs.. zigzag cigarette paper he used he did.. hed light up and embers would fly all over the kitchen burning the area rug and the cats fur.. once he sent me into the store to buy his papers for him.. but the clerk just looked at me (well it was the 70s) and threw me out..
babys family.. lol neil
xoxox
~Lace~
gyps.. will you do a favor for me.. in crashing the attic before neil starts singing greyhound girl he talks about a vw rabbit.. i catch the drift of what he said (and fell out laffin) but cant make out exactly what he said.. will you ask him to translate and let me know.. the concept is priceless
~Lace~
Pizzle, Val and Dale, and anybody else who feels the need to know, is Australian outback verncular for scrotum - the whole package, as it were. The term is usually used when referring to rams or bulls.
Shearers use (or used to, anyway), warm tar to stop the bleeding from any major nicks or cuts they may make to a wriggling sheep. The cry of "tar here" (as in the song "Click Go the Shears") means the tar boy needs to scurry over and slop on a bit pronto.
However, a cry of "tar here - pizzle!" and it changes to super-pronto and questions asked. A prize breeding ram's family jewels are no playground for novice shearers, and only the best get to work with them.
Yes, folks, life is tough on an Australian farm, but at least we don't smoke exploding weevil beetles! GROSS Gypsy!
my favs - 3 and 5. Do tell about the time travel!!
Yes he would MB you know his history. He is a reformed homicidal maniac after-all..
I'm not going to smoke beetles anymore..too addictive!!..
Oh yes Lace I will ask Neil to translate it for you..
Dale Baby was adopted so he is no real relation to PT unlike Neil who is..
Margie, that sounded like a script from Monty Python!..
And now the complete version of Pizzle..AKA scroat!..
Can you shizzle a pizzle?..
Grace you can travel back in blog time to read of my 'Ye olde Net'
here>> http://gypsynoir.blogspot.com/2006/06/lorks-lordy.html
thank you gyps.. i *know* what hes meaning.. but would love to hear exactly what hes saying.. ::still laffin::
oh.. and good to hear youve given up the beetles.. perhaps everyone trying to quit smoking should use that method..
xoxox
~Lace~
I just had to look up weevils after your story and gasp, cough, puke! don't think it was exaggerated - ugh! I hope you are feeling ok.
have a wonderful weekend :)
cherylann
oh blimey baba oh riley Blackvelvet there is always one isnt there? -At no point during my hilarious intro to that song do i say VW- where you got that from i dont know what i say is ''James, i knew a greyhound girl once, we were very close- i loved her in fact, then one day i got an imitation rabbit and fired it at 90mph down a track, that was it....she was gone'' it would have been hilarious, but you have now killed it....;-)
Update on the beetles..
I microwaved them so they were obliterated to outer space! anything that was left behind got smoked...hehe
Haha Gypsy, you beamed them up good and proper! By the way, watch out for the postman in about ten days from now ;-)
LOLOLOLOMG Neil how is a yankee like me supposed to decipher what the heck you're saying!!! LOLOLOL Do you know what I THOUGHT you said... ''James, i knew a greyhound girl once, we were very close- i loved her in fact, then one day she got after a Volkswagon Rabbit fired at 90 mph down the track (meaning she chased a strangers VW car down the road at 90mph) and that was it.. she was gone.."
Either way, it's hilarious.. but THEN comes the END.. "Or whippet.. let's face it, she was a dog" ::rolls::
PS I thought your songs were great.
PPS If you're not getting your emails I'll give you the heads up, Ronzi is starting plans for the *next project*, originals this time. You in? He's going to be asking all of us.
PPPS gyps.. do you know what neils saying alla time???? :P
PPPPS gyps.. i think when you microwave something it dissipates as radioactive pixie dust and when you open the door.. it sticks to your walls. Forever.
~Lace~
This comment has been removed by the author.
::Flying along circles around and settles just outside the doorway.. leans ear to door.. a discussion of pixie dust catching her attention.. wrinkles nose knits brow and whispers to self.. *sticks to walls forever?!?!? Where the hell DOES Lace get all of her misinformation from*::
:P
Lil
Val! what you up to now??..lol..your lovely..x..
Lace I will tell Neil about the new idea..
Oh yes we understand each others dialogue now but in the early days it was a bit sketchy..
hmmm lil pixie dust..I wonder..hmmm..
Gypsy said.. Oh yes we understand each others dialogue now but in the early days it was a bit sketchy..
See that Neil, it isn't *just me* :P
~Lace~
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